i owez feel haf hearted or separuh hati.
and i know that’s not a good sign la.
its like when i want to buy something but the colour doesnt really suits me.then i feel separuh hati.
buy or not?
its not a good sign kan?
huh…but thats life…
half hearted April 21, 2009
its 5.46 p.m April 20, 2009
after 1 stressful day of reading 4p which is very very stressful as i wud describe it…
i decided to stop early…often, i stop studying at 6pm sharp…but 2day becoze of the 4p…4p…4p…ok stop it
penat la cite about studying what and what..
neway, nuthin much happenin around me..its just that sometimes im afraid of giving so much love to people yet i receive less and less…lastly, i end up being the loser with nuthin in return. Ya Allah! just dun let me feel that way.
evrytime im closed to someone, a part of me is raging to be away as far as i cud.
lastly, i live in idleness and feeling uneasy.tapikan, sometimes life is full with questions mark.and i will never find the answers till the end….sighs..
ok, the plan for tonite wud be:
9.00pm: a mini gathering with previous housemates including fifi, yu, me and najwa(well, the others have test, the next day)
11.00: buku…buku…tenggelam dalam buku…
-out-buhsan
In doubtness April 17, 2009
recently, i’ve been thinking whether im very conscious bout my self or if i ever give myself a chance to be at least in a relationship wit someone. well, the last relationship was not that sweet as i gave up, moving our separate ways. anway, that was waaaaayyyy when im in my hi-skool days where i never know the definition of a true relationship. however, now, i became wiser enuf (i guess) i’ve grown up to be more stronger and sophisticated of course with the help of my dearly mates. ermm…mebbe rite now i have a really big problem in trusting people. people may not trust me also, but actually i dun really trust anybody. my fren keeps saying that u shud give urself a chance to let someone into ur life. all dis while, i kept denying everyone who tries to enter into my life. denying and denying and it is sunggoh penat
penatkan? when u dun trust the one yg u one to start a relationship wit. yet, ur frens keep splurging that he’s ok blablablaba. some of them even says “kamon, give urself a space to get to know people”.
yes! i admit. im not that friendly to allllllll peple and it might take a thousand while for people to get them really attached to me. i mean personally.eheheh. i dun give piple to much opportunity to get to know me yet they need to take and extra effort to do that. teruk kah aku?
well, that’s me like it or not.
so, i will still stay in doubtness as piple will say im undecided and yadayada..say all u can say coze im proud of my self.
Exam once again… April 13, 2009
In 2 wiks tyme, i will sit for my most excruciating moment for each semester. yes! the final exam.gosh..i owez have problems controlling my emotion during finals.as if i can lost my mind because of that. is it that i am to ambitious or i owez aim for the best. ermm..mebbe the problem is on me and i have to figure it out la..
well2…here’s a quick summary of the papers for this semester
27/4 = est + teaching english grammar
28/4= critical review on malaysian literature in english
29/4= 4p
5/5 = teaching of reading and writing
wish me luck..amin..
JIWA KACAU April 9, 2009
haaaaaaaaa…
i hate being coop up in my almost cubicle room when there is no class for the whole day and im stuck here typing on my assignment where supposedly i shud spending my life to the fullest doing everything that i wanna do (full stop). ok dats a mouthful to sum up things.
p/s: Ya Allah, i shud be studying instead.that’s my responsibility.exams getting nearer
My life: a bit slow April 7, 2009
recently, i have nuthin major to talk about but the last wiken i spent my time with my looooooonggggg BFF chilhood frens kimah and CT.
well, kimah and i overnite at CT’s apartment in Bangsar. owh yes! Bangsar is another place which i never have been to and it is a great experience. neway, what we did was simple yet enjoyable. we cook+eat+chat+watch AF (duhhh)+chat+chat=sleep.haha.
before that, adik, najwa and I, gone for a shopping spree!!!wuhuuu.but this tyme its a bit unusual that we really wanna shop for “kain kurung” and “tudungs”. haha.well, i managed to starve my shopping senses and successfully bought:
1) one 4.5 metre kain pasang (its a purple chiffon kain)
2) 3 selendang (polkadot, 1 pelik pattern but nice, plain grey one)
3) white inner shirt (which is d most importnt)
4) an anak tudung (wutever they call it)
5) no shoes!!!!! fuh…relieved…
haha.. so,for this shoppin trip i managed to only “BUY WHAT I NEED ONLY”. haha.haaaaa…there! i splurted all at once.
the best part is meeting up wit frens in long wikens where finally i could talk about something other than..grammar blablababablab or Mr zain’s assign shud b like blaalaablbal…
i’m really sick n tired of all this stuff…wooppsss mind me…finally!!! the exam timetable has already finalise and yeah oh yeah the last paper wud be on the 5th….wuhuuuuuuuuuuu…can’t wait 4 all of this misery to end..
right now, study…study…study…sleep…haha..
my friend died April 1, 2009
i have a friend,
my friend died,
i don’t feel sad nor i feel glad,
sometimes i see her lingering in my mind,
sometimes i think she died for quite some times,
at times she’s alive,
but i think my friend died,
am i just crazy or she’s alive,
i cannot tell from reality or fantasy,
but i still can believe my friend had died.
once in a while she wakes up alive,
everything is useless coze i’ve seen the funeral,
my friend has died,pls tell me why??
-cooping in my room-1.47 am
heartbreaking+heartbreaker February 22, 2009
life is full of mysteries…
some will make u smile, at times it makes u break down n cry..
i dun care less…all i knoe is my heart feels hurt…
saket sangat..
-end-
love story and all…do they really exist?? February 12, 2009
recently, my car pool peeps has this great obsession wit taylor swift’s song love story. the lyrics are so sweet, makes me wanna think bout my hi-skool days when i have crushes on boys in the next class.haha.
neway, do they really exist? or mebbe the love story is just a fairy tale?
think about it…
Aziah Hani
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